Getting in touch with my emotions

After the burn out, I have thought I was not able to get in touch with my emotions but the truth is that I have developped years ago the ability to hide and repress my own feelings.


The burn out showed me my limits of hiding ability (work area + personal area). But let's face that in my daily life since I was a kid I have repressed my emotions so that I could be helpful and "sensitive" to others.
For instance, accepting to hear my mom difficulties over my dad's behaviour. When it comes to interact with someone expressing his troubles, finding the way in to express your disconfort in that conversation is taken away from you. Or your brother having all the world difficulties to just socialize or interact... Having those conversations is like being trapped in something you can't get rid of.  And besides not expressing yourself later you'll have to act or take decisions to help others that just in a non respectful way to treat yourself : give time, objects, energy...

People having troubles and coming to me to interact about it are not respectful of my situation and it feels like being here to listen is taking for granted. It leads me to several issues : my point of view is not respected (not listened), my time either, my actions either...

My mom is being unfair with me : despite the energy I give her, she does not recognize it. I totally get that she is fed up several abuses but still because I listen I should not be the one taking the bullets for everyone. This is depressing honestly.



I wonder if it is possible that people read only emotions when showed and this is why I can't get in touch with others ? but if I show my emotions isn't that a great way to be abused by others ?
See the example of the connard situations the best way to be protected was to hide who I was. How to be honest then ?

It angers me so much when I take time to listen and then my own value is dropping.